When You Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve

I should’ve known he wasn’t my match the minute I found out he was allergic to peanut butter… and my cats. But here I was, making him dinner, waiting for his responses, scheduling dates, and trying to see how we would fit into each others lives. He was my ideal, or so I thought. In finance, pretty big goals for life, the two kids and white picket fence dream.

So, I played along. We would go out every other week or so, network, he always paid for my drinks and washed the dishes when I cooked. About 2 months in I found out he was still on Bumble, but so was I, so he wasn’t seeing anyone else right? Or he was…

Four months go by, and I had to know. “What are we?” The answer I got- “We just aren’t on the same level.” I broke it off. I would not waste my time on another man who wasn’t ready for me. At this point, it was the 3rd man in 6 months I decided wasn’t for me. I didn’t flinch when Ed broke it off because ladies, he was not worth my time or tears.

There were more dates, friends of friends, a guy I met at a bar, one of my brothers best friends. A Ryan, Mike, another Mike, another Mike, another Ryan. Small talk, drinks, learning about each others lives.

After dating someone for 5 years, I had to see what else was out there. I felt like all the good ones were taken! All of the friends who had “great single guys,” were fixer uppers, but would be PERFECT for me. Bumble sucks, I wouldn’t even download tinder.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. If this story above sounds like your life, girl I get it.

Many women aren’t active in the dating field. But I like to play ball, be out on a Friday night. How am I supposed to meet my match, if I truly don’t know what my match was? To be honest, I have a much better idea of my ideal man. I know he is out there, but I truly don’t believe you know until you try.

If you’re like me, and want to date- I say go out and DO IT! Out of all the awful dates, awkward texts saying- it was fun but I’m going to pass, I also gained a true sense of self. And don’t get me wrong! I also had some great company and conversation. There were attributes of some men that I didn’t know I wanted in my life. Someone that will push me to grow my business, who I don’t need to take care of, that washes a dish and can do laundry.

I also had a man build me up to have the confidence to find a man that is “on my level.” Even though we didn’t work out, his big heart helped me remember why I wanted to be single in the first place. I finally remembered what falling in love met to me again.

My best advice to all of you single ladies out there- do you. Don’t let other people tell you what you want or need in a partner because they aren’t living your life. Find someone who makes you happy, and who is a good person. If you have a feeling they aren’t for you, go with that feeling. If they won’t give you the time of day, then don’t give them yours. DO NOT let a second chance turn into a third, or a fourth.

I unapologetically wear my heart on my sleeve because that is who I am. But, no one has the power to take that from me, and that is the most empowering part of being myself.

 

 

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It’s Christmas… And you’re single.

Happy happy holiday season! If you’re reading this blog, it’s probably two weeks out to Christmas, and you’re probably single.

This will be my second Christmas as a single lady, and I can’t believe how time flies. Last year my breakup was still so heartbreaking to me, and an open wound. It made me realize how the entire holiday season is so much different without your partner. In short, I was not in the holiday spirit and almost all of my gifts were bought last minute at Tjmaxx or the package store.

All of my friends were off at parties with their significant others, getting their Christmas trees together, and buying each other too many gifts. On top of that, have you ever noticed how almost every Christmas song involves having someone in your life? I felt like the Christmas season was out to get me.

This year- it’s been different! 

This year, I was in the holiday spirit before Thanksgiving even hit! I started to decorate the day after, and my roomie was not prepared for our house to become a winter wonderland.

So what changed??? I did. I learned that this season is so much more than him. There are so many other people that you can spend time with through this season. I know my mom is so excited to not have me split up between two Christmases. I started to become happy without my other half and with me. And no, this is no BS sappy advice that I am trying to give you. But I’m trying to say that every day can get better. How many more years will you be able to spend with your family one on one? My mom is so excited to decorate the tree with me, and bake cookies. I have one of my best friends coming up to spend a week with me from Florida- and so many adventures in between.

I also have almost all of my Christmas shopping done, and I have a theme for my gift wrap. I’m spoiling so many friends and my family this year!

If you need to take this holiday one bottle of wine at a time, I get it. I’ve been there. But I also wish I let last year lift my sprits, and none of your friends want you to be the grinch. Go grab an ugly sweater and get back out there.

So I've been single

So I’ve been single…

Well for those of you that don’t know- I’ve been single for almost a year to date now. I decided I needed some time for myself after a 5 year relationship ended for the better, I had to figure out what I wanted- more importantly who I wanted in my life.

And no, this is not an “I’m single and I’ve been loving it- here’s why you should too,” kind of blog. To be honest, I haven’t really loved it. I think it’s a topic that none of us really talk about at our age or in our generation. It seems like most of my friends are engaged, getting married, or in a long term relationship. 

I was there too. I thought I would be engaged by now. But I know that what I decided to do was for the better for me and for my life. 

As a young professional and a very independent young woman, I think that it’s very important to talk about being single. Also, I am truly hoping that some of my stories and advice will be able to help you out. It’s been quite an adventure for me.

There’s been ups, downs, maybe a few tears, bad dates, great dates. Well, a lot of bad dates. I felt like I was coming back into the dating world with zero experience. I left my boyfriend whom I had met in high school 6 years ago. At first I wore my heart on my sleeve and trusted too many guys who didn’t deserve a minute of my time. 

All of that has lead me to where I am today- a place that I wouldn’t be without the support of my co-workers, community, friends and family. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. That it is okay to be single, and most importantly that you have to be happy with who YOU are. So you can find a man that is worth your time. Trust me girl, you are worth it. 

I can’t wait to continue this series with you! Now… where can I even begin…