I should’ve known he wasn’t my match the minute I found out he was allergic to peanut butter… and my cats. But here I was, making him dinner, waiting for his responses, scheduling dates, and trying to see how we would fit into each others lives. He was my ideal, or so I thought. In finance, pretty big goals for life, the two kids and white picket fence dream.
So, I played along. We would go out every other week or so, network, he always paid for my drinks and washed the dishes when I cooked. About 2 months in I found out he was still on Bumble, but so was I, so he wasn’t seeing anyone else right? Or he was…
Four months go by, and I had to know. “What are we?” The answer I got- “We just aren’t on the same level.” I broke it off. I would not waste my time on another man who wasn’t ready for me. At this point, it was the 3rd man in 6 months I decided wasn’t for me. I didn’t flinch when Ed broke it off because ladies, he was not worth my time or tears.
There were more dates, friends of friends, a guy I met at a bar, one of my brothers best friends. A Ryan, Mike, another Mike, another Mike, another Ryan. Small talk, drinks, learning about each others lives.
After dating someone for 5 years, I had to see what else was out there. I felt like all the good ones were taken! All of the friends who had “great single guys,” were fixer uppers, but would be PERFECT for me. Bumble sucks, I wouldn’t even download tinder.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. If this story above sounds like your life, girl I get it.
Many women aren’t active in the dating field. But I like to play ball, be out on a Friday night. How am I supposed to meet my match, if I truly don’t know what my match was? To be honest, I have a much better idea of my ideal man. I know he is out there, but I truly don’t believe you know until you try.
If you’re like me, and want to date- I say go out and DO IT! Out of all the awful dates, awkward texts saying- it was fun but I’m going to pass, I also gained a true sense of self. And don’t get me wrong! I also had some great company and conversation. There were attributes of some men that I didn’t know I wanted in my life. Someone that will push me to grow my business, who I don’t need to take care of, that washes a dish and can do laundry.
I also had a man build me up to have the confidence to find a man that is “on my level.” Even though we didn’t work out, his big heart helped me remember why I wanted to be single in the first place. I finally remembered what falling in love met to me again.
My best advice to all of you single ladies out there- do you. Don’t let other people tell you what you want or need in a partner because they aren’t living your life. Find someone who makes you happy, and who is a good person. If you have a feeling they aren’t for you, go with that feeling. If they won’t give you the time of day, then don’t give them yours. DO NOT let a second chance turn into a third, or a fourth.
I unapologetically wear my heart on my sleeve because that is who I am. But, no one has the power to take that from me, and that is the most empowering part of being myself.